A Doctor takes his own advice...

I suppose one of the leading reasons we don't look forward to our 50th birthday is the dreaded screening colonoscopy. I have managed to put mine off until today, aged 52 years, 10 months, 11 days. I used several excuses for the delay. I'm too busy, I was looking for a new job, I was too busy preparing to move, I was too busy moving, I just moved, I was too busy unpacking the new house, my insurance does not start until June, I have to wait 6 weeks after having diverticulitis...It was that recent episode of diverticulitis that really set my mind to thinking. Was it diverticulitis, or something more sinister.

 One of my colleagues figured out that we will diagnose an average of 3.5 new cases of colon cancer, per year, per provider. In 2014, 136,830 people will be diagnosed with Colon Cancer...50,310 will die from it. It is the second leading cause of cancer death in the United States. Your overall risk of having colon cancer is 5-6% and it is PREVENTABLE (Colon Cancer Alliance). So, after finally running out of excuses, I took my own advice and had a colonoscopy.

The easy part was scheduling it. I asked my partner Steve if he would be willing to come in on a Saturday morning and take care of it for me and he agreed. I would like to thank him for taking time out of his Saturday morning to do this for me. Time passes quickly leading up to C-Day and before you know it, reading the prep instructions is on your to do list for the day. As a gastroenterologist, I hear day in and day out that the colonoscopy preparation is some kind of torture device left over from the Spanish Inquisition (Spanish Inquisition). I am here to tell you otherwise. While it will not make my list of Top Ten things to do on a Friday Night (Friday Night Fun in Minneapolis), it was really not all that bad. Just make sure you pick a better Gatorade flavor. Riptide Frost is to be avoided at all costs.

2 Quarts of prep solution is not that bad...

The next biggest complaint I hear is how hard it is to "starve" the day before the procedure by sticking to a clear liquid diet. Heads up people...children in Africa are starving...clear liquids for 36 hours prior to a colonoscopy is a small inconvenience. I rather enjoyed my sojourn from the daily meal grind. You can drink all the Mt.Dew you want, you will learn how good simple chicken broth can taste, and you will rediscover a long, lost love for Jello! Plus, your lunch fits in your pocket.

After all the anticipatory prepping and repeated worst case scenario nightmares, colonoscopy day was finally here. Driving to the hospital was not a problem. No pit stops were needed for last minute potty breaks. After a brief registration, we were whisked off to the the pre-procedure room where my wife decided that a photograph was needed. After all, Facebook had been waiting for this moment for 2 years, 10 months and 12 days.

Crying on the inside...

I will admit, despite the fact that I have performed over 15,000 of these procedures, I was still a wee bit nervous. The nursing staff knows what kind of patients we can be and were quite accommodating. They put me at ease and I would like to thank them for that! For those of you who are curious, I received 100 mcg of Fentanyl and 4 mg of Versed. Given that everybody always asks how far the colonoscope is inserted & how long the scope is, I will divulge trade secrets. The average depth of insertion is about 75 cm.For those of you with an insatiable need to know how many feet that is, go the extra mile (Cm to Feet Conversion). The scope itself is 160 cm long. I can honestly say that I have no recollection of the procedure and the first thing I remember is sitting up in the post-procedure area asking if we were finished.

Normal exam...Good for 10 years!

The best part of a colonoscopy is that afterwords you can go wherever you want and have breakfast. We went to the Edina Grill and it did not disappoint...Best breakfast I have had in a long time. Highly recommended! (Edina Grill).  The warm doughnut holes with cinnamon sugar, chocolate sauce & vanilla icing were fantastic...

The moral of the story is...If you are 50 years old, have your colonoscopy, prevent colon cancer, and have a great breakfast afterwards. It really is that simple. And by the way, it was all within a 10 mile radius...